>>stripped of natural charm

We carved pumpkins last night, Devin, Tawnya, Jay, Megan, Josh, Jason and me. We carved pumpkins on a big blanket in the middle of the living room, a blanket that would eventually be thrown away, and we watched The Shining and had orange hands. Jay carved a Frankenstein monster (his was the best, we unanimously decided). Josh carved a brilliant split-faced phantom; Meg carved a cat. I carved a ghost holding a candelabra and Tawnya carved a perching cat, and a small pumpkin underneath of it. Devin, deciding he was too good for the stencils, carved a weirdo-looking Jack o’ lantern with glasses and Jason carved a Red Sox “B” because, as it turns out, he is too good for the stencils. We carved our pumpkins and carried them to the back porch. Tea lights were inserted and the porch lights turned off as we stood there and knew that we had created nothing but Fine Art.

It turns out that others are also appreciating our Fine Art, because this morning Jason’s pumpkin got heisted. There are many reasons that that particular pumpkin, emblazoned with a logo of a fairly popular and equally hated baseball team, was stolen. Someone could’ve loved it and decided to take it and admire its beauty from the comfort of their own home. It may have been taken by a hardcore Rockies/Yankees fan and all they did was smash that Fine Art into teeny pieces. Or maybe someone with no soul decided that yeah, taking something of someone else’s is a great idea and let’s do it. I hope someone poisons their candy, or maybe they only get pennies and toothbrushes this year.

It was truly the most magnificent-looking pumpkin I have ever beheld and I wish you could’ve seen it before that stupid mother-fucker (probably a group of them, because my experience tells me that theivy mother-fuckers rarely work alone) decided to become a felon by stealing someone’s personal property.