This morning I made a list of the things I had to do before I got a job (or before my parents come), and it is as follows:
1) Get an Oregon driver’s license
2) Order checks
3) Get an oil change
4) Do laundry
5) Clean the bathrooms
6) Sweep and vacuum
7) Clean off the stove
After making my list I went to the DMV. I got there are 11:30 and left at noon. I’ve had good luck with DMVs so far; when Jackie and I went to get our Florida licenses renewed we were in there for maybe 15 minutes. Seventy-two fifty later ($5 for the test, $57.50 for the license, and $10 for the smog test [I know, right? A smog test. I've never heard of such a thing]), I’ll be getting my new Oregon license in about two weeks. It has to be mailed to me. Mailed! You’d think for seventy-three bucks they’d be able to swing a machine that prints them on-site. But you’d be wrong.
I’m also in the beginning stages of registering my car. That means Oregon plates. That means that I’ll be official. First, though, since Oregon is a title-bearing state [which means...something] I have to send a bunch of paperwork to the place I’m drawing my loan from, and they’ll release the title to the Great State of Oregon. Then, after paying $121, I’ll get my plates and little sticker in the mail. What a joy.
Two things crossed off the list in a matter of hours. They were the most time consuming (meaning I’d actually have to get up and get dressed) so I opted to get them out of the way. I read somewhere that thinking about doing something is actually more stressful than actually doing it, and given the events of the past few weeks I don’t think I could handle any more stress.
I’m really looking forward to my parents visit. They’ll be here next Thursday (they were going to come on Friday night, but now that I’m not working they decided to extend the visit by a day. That’s great and all, but now I have to think of things for them to do and I doubt highly that going to Howiee’s or going over to Lauren’s with Jay and Megan are legitimate outings) and will be leaving on Sunday. I’m really looking forward to seeing them and showing them around. Given my propensity for getting lost, I’m guessing we’ll be spending a lot of time in Jacksonville because I always seem to end up there.
I knew that I wasn’t going to have a career in the credit union, but with the new branch opening and my sole responsibility being to learnlearnlearn I didn’t feel it professional to quit. I decided to wait before acting because maybe the dislike for the job was due to the fact that banking is completely unfamiliar to me and I was simply learning.
Today I went to Grants Pass, where I was going to work, to visit local businesses and let them know that we now had a branch in the area. I rode along with my manager, D—-, and listened as she spoke to managers and employees of each company. Being completely new to the credit union and financial institutions in general I opted to observe as she spoke rather than opening my mouth and being thought ridiculous. On our way to one destination she asked me if I liked my job.
“It’s hard to tell at this point. I’m learning so much information about unfamiliar things that it’s hard to say at this point whether or not I like my job. I don’t hate it; I like the members and I enjoy the people that I work with.”
“That’s a shame. I was hoping to hear you say you loved your job.”
“It’s not that I don’t love it. It’s just too new to be able to give a definitive answer.”
“That’s understandable.”
“Do you think there’s anything I need to work on? Has anyone said anything to you about me needing extra time on things?”
“Everyone that has worked with you has said great things about you. They’re really pleased with what you’ve learned so far.”
The fact that I got fired three hours after that conversation still confuses me. We even went over time off and Who Goes To Conversation Training Which Days, which seems like a pointless endeavor if you know that the person who says she’d like Thanksgiving off will be sacked soon. But whatever. I don’t make the rules.
When I get home, I get a voicemail from someone at the temp agency I got hired through telling me that my job at the credit union is over because they have no need for my services.
I call them back.
The guy who answered the phone didn’t have much information for me, and despite my shock I somehow managed to call my boss. And remain calm. The news hadn’t hit me yet, apparently.
“D—-, this is Denise. The temp agency just called and told me that my job was over and…”
“Oh yeah. This just isn’t going to work out.”
“Okay. Can I ask why?”
“You don’t seem to have much enthusiasm for your job. We need someone who is a real go-getter; we need the branch opening to run smoothly and I just don’t see that happening with your attitude.”
“I see. Okay.”
“Yes.”
“Well… thanks.”
“Yep. *click*”
Her accusations aren’t completely without merit; I was quiet today, and perhaps that was mistaken for indifference. But I wasn’t indifferent. I was trying. I’ve been trying for the past two weeks. I was supposed to cram six months worth of training into a month and a half–that’s enough to stress out even the most fervent go-getter–and then there was the added pressure of being the only teller in the branch. I wasn’t looking forward to being the sole person and trying to soak up as much information as I could was hindering rather than helping. I felt confused more often than I felt confident, and the initial excitement I had about this job faded within a few days.
Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by my previous jobs. If my employers had a problem with a certain aspect of my performance I was always informed and given an opportunity to improve. Was I out of line to expect that from a boss? Am I being naive?
The brunt of the breakdown has subsided. My eyes are all squinty and swollen from crying, I can’t sleep, and that little “your job at the credit union is over…” still replays in my head. I’m not mad at D—-. Her job is to run a company, and she saw something in me that she felt wouldn’t be in the company’s best interest. What I don’t understand, DO NOT COMPREHEND, is WHY she was so complimentary only a few hours prior to calling the temp agency and telling them that I was let go. Had I felt that her conclusions were legitimate I might have an easier time wrapping my head around this. If I was stealing or bitchy or threatened to knife someone then I could see her logic. But none of that happened.
Filed under: Uncategorized
A post will be going here soon.
I just need to find a way to express myself without using the term “motherfucker” a lot.
One of the hardest things to deal with when living with Jason is the merging of the rituals. I do things a certain way and he does the same things a different way, and at night we each do the same things at different times and this really should’ve been written down somewhere in How To Live With A Member of the Opposite Sex and Not Kill Each Other.
I brush my teeth and wash my face every night like a good little clean girl. When I get a wild hair I put on a face mask because there is no such thing as a pore that is too clean. I’m sitting in the living room reading and he comes in.
And my face is green because the beauty process is a multiple-step ordeal, and sometimes you just don’t look that pretty.
“What is on your face? Is that a mask?”
“Yes.”
“Do you wear it to bed?
“No.”
“Do you peel it off?”
“No.”
I hesitate for a moment because anyone of the female gender would know that since it’s a clay-based mask it doesn’t peel off. It gets rinsed off with a wash cloth. Had I known that he came with absolutely no working knowledge of the function and operation of a basic face mask I probably wouldn’t have worn one and instead given him a crash-course in How A Girl Becomes Pretty, Or At Least Moderately Attractive. Alas, I digress.
“How do you get it off? Rinse it off?”
“With warm water and a washcloth.”
“Ohhh.”
“Don’t you know anything about beauty?”
“No. I was born with it.”
Filed under: random
I sat down at the computer this morning. On the desk beside me lay a Nutri-Grain bar and a glass of water. The Nutri-Grain bar is gone somehow, and despite my mouth tasting like strawberries and that yummy outside Nutri-Grain stuff, I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I did indeed eat the breakfast cereal bar yet tasted it not at all.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I spent the morning cleaning both bathrooms. I feel exhilarated. There is something about the fumes of industrial strength cleaner coursing through my veins that makes me feel alive.
Jason was supposed to go to the water slides today, but due to inclimate weather that trip has been canceled. Subsequently, the day I had planned in my head is being scrapped and new plans must be formulated on the fly; I am very good at On the Fly Plans, you see, but I really had no intentions of taking a shower or doing anything today except cleaning. So I don’t really want to do anything today except clean. It’s weird how that works. Ordinarily I would never have dreamed of trading in the chance to see a movie for scrubbing the ring around the tub, but I was sort of looking forward to doing the laundry and cleaning the kitchen and sorting through the piles of papers and clothes that have accumulated over the past week.
Which means that I am a khalua and cream away from turning in to my mother.
Filed under: work
Dear Life;
Please. Slow. Down.
-Denise
I feel two steps behind absolutely everything. I can’t get caught up because things just won’t quit, they won’t slow down for even a second and it’s vexing.
Work at the credit union is going fine. My coworkers are fun and the members are basically nice, but I went from being moderately kick-ass at Publix to having to learn boat-loads of new information and that is frustrating. I feel completely inadequate. Stupid. Like I’m a little girl playing grown-up. My frustrations aren’t unfounded and I know that no one expects me to be a pro in only 5 days at a completely new atmosphere but I feel like I should know more. I shouldn’t be making the same mistakes over & over.
I remember what it was training for the front office at Publix. I thought I would never get it. I eventually did; I got it down and there it stayed. I could multi-task like I’ve never done before. I was good at that job. It’s a humbling experience to being in a position of authority (relatively little authority, but authority nonetheless) to having no stinking clue what to do when someone asks me to print out their statement.
Things will get better.
Soon I will get into a groove and I’ll have things under control. The expectations I have for my professional self are surprisingly high, seeing as how I generally have low expectations of myself in general.-What a contrast.
Filed under: letters
Dearest Audrey Kutchen;
We have not been formally introduced, but seeing as how you’re a local celebrity I doubt highly that an introduction would make anyone’s day.
I’m not going to say you’re horrible or talentless like some of the other members of my household. Clearly you’ve got some sort of potential; you can read fairly rapidly, though you blink a lot (I counted 5 times during one sentence), and your face is pretty, which is always a plus. Can’t have ugly people reading the news!
Maybe it’s just the area we live in, Aud, but watching the news is boring. Boring. What about a few human interest stories instead of “Today, more people did meth. And those fires that were burning yesterday are still burning.” Honestly. How about you let us know when people stop doing meth? Since we’re living in one of the biggest meth producing cities ever, it’s generally understood that it’s a problem and ruins people’s lives. Same with the fires. Tell us when the fires go out. Until then we’ll assume that everything is the same as far as drugs and burning forests go.
I haven’t been in the area very long; I moved to Medford a month and a half ago, but I’ve been hearing about you and your mad broadcasting skills for much longer. I don’t know if reading the news is a fulfilling career or not, but it may help you sleep better at night knowing that every time you’re on the air, we take shots each time you mess up. It’s an Audrey Kutchen drinking game, made possible by you. If we’re drunk, the chances of us gallivanting around and trying new strawberry meth decrease considerably. It’s a small victory you and your newsroom. Thank you for all you do.
Sincerely,
Denise
09.12.07
I watched the news tonight, Aud. You didn’t blink as often as you usually do. Congratulations. Next time we happen to be at Howiee’s at the same time I’ll buy you a PBR.
Filed under: audience participation
Since things have winded down from the chaos of moving and getting situated, I now have time to focus on my next main objective: budgeting money. Since many relationships dissolve because of financial reasons, the benefits of creating and sticking to a budget are two fold: one, not being overdrawn, in debt, or completely broke by month end and two, less relationship tension.
I haven’t needed to budget before; I’ve never had a car payment or cell phone bill in my life, much less rent and a credit card. I’m oh-so-new to the whole “Let’s save money before we’re eating cardboard” thing and I’m a little unsure of how to go about it. I know what I want us to accomplish: reduction of debt and medical bills, paying people back, and saving for vacation.
I need your ideas.
Do you budget?
How?
What methods of budgeting have worked for you?
What surprised you most about keeping track of your money?
“What did you get from Subway?”
“Spaghetti.”
“This song is so inspiring. It makes me want to pick up garbage.”
“You want an inspiring song? Hold on a minute.”
“I don’t want to listen to Kenny-fucking-Loggins!”
I don’t have anything personal against Kenny Loggins. “Footloose” and “Danger Zone” are fine to listen to once every five years. But some of his songs, like “Let’s All Hug Some Trees” and “Watch The Eagle Fly Really High” get on my nerves. What I find most hysterical and ironic is that Jason “Kill All The Hippies” Steele likes the musical stylings of Mr. Loggins. I’m sure his mind will change when Kenny releases his 20th album, tentatively titled “Patchouli and Me,” a two-disk set featuring original material recorded while Kenny Loggins is barefoot in a field of flowers and then takes a bath in reclaimed water.
Rules We All Should Know:
1) “Its” is the possessive form of “it.” “It’s” means “it is.”
Example:
The house’s lights are bright, keeping its residents up at night.
It’s going to be a long day.
2) “Your” is the possessive form of you. “You’re” means “you are.”
Example: Is your family going to the lake tomorrow?
You’re my best friend.
3) The paper, the play, the music, the movie all line up wavy, isn’t that groovy?
(Also includes the names of ships and ballets)
Example: She is the last survivor ofTitanic.
Last night she heard Blackbird and saw Yellow Submarine.
His favorite ballet is Swan Lake.
Remember when you were in English class learning about apostrophes and prepositions wondering when you were ever going to have to apply those concepts? Who cares whether or not you master possessive nouns! What does that have to do with life?
Everything. Grammar allows us to communicate more effectively through the written word. There are as many different writing styles as there are authors, but the fundamentals of grammar are consistent throughout anything that must be read, whether it’s a magazine or a legal document. It drives me crazy that twenty and thirty year old people don’t know the difference between “its” and “it’s,” “you’re” and “your,” and have no idea how to correctly use parentheses. Comma splices run rampant in many blogs because the comma, next to the period, is a highly recognizable piece of punctuation. Did you know that there are actually rules about commas, or were you smoking behind the dumpster that day?
Grammar is important. There is a reason that it’s taught when we’re in elementary school: repetition breeds understanding. English is a main component of college-entrance exams for a reason, and the simple not-knowing leads writing to be inconsistent and hard to follow.
Blogs are a way to express yourself through the written (or typed, as it were) word, and as more people are taking advantage of the medium egregious errors are being published without a second thought. There are hundreds of resources available for those who simply can’t remember all of the rules that encompass the English language. Take advantage of them. The reason your blog doesn’t generate much traffic might have to do with the fact that your entries are hard to follow due to easily-correctable errors.
Or maybe you’re just boring.
Might as well rule one out.
Filed under: pictures
trains near the salt lake: salt lake city, utah
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I’m in training in Springfield.
It has sucked not at all.
I was completely overwhelemed at first, unsure if I was even capable of retaining information long enough to answer questions 5 minutes after said information was presented to us. Now I know more about CDs and 401(k) plans than I’ve ever wanted to know. Banking is definitely a thorough business, one that I never thought I’d ever be a part of. But with three days of training under my belt, I’m a lot more confident that I won’t screw up too badly and will be able to fake my knowledge of overdrafts, mortgages, and transferring fees until I understand it all for real.
I’m ready to be home, though. In Medford. I’ve grown accustomed to being around Jason and I’m more used to him than I thought I was. Obviously I love him and all of that, but I’ve gotten so used to him simply being there, even in the short month that we’ve been living together, that it’s hard for me to fall asleep at night without him hogging the covers or mumbling incoherently.
Filed under: pictures
I met Amber this weekend. It was pretty exactly what I thought it was going to be. I’ve tried typing this entry about 6 times and each time it sounded like I was some creepy person who was in love with her and it’s really not like that, so I decided to let things settle down a little bit, get home to Medford [I'm in Springfield for job training] and then blog everything.
